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Daily Wisdom – Motivational Podcast – Day 556 – Inspiration: Above and Beyond
Recently, I was asked by a friend, how do you become a good husband?
Well, there is not one answer to that question. A good husband is the same thing as a good father, a good friend, a good parent, a good child or a good colleague. To be good is necessarily something which will be across the board but to live as a husband, a good husband, is living up to the role that you were given and that is that you have to provide space of safety for your spouse. It’s something to contain her and therefore, something that will fill her. The spouse will be the presence in her life that provides confidence, companionship, strength, inspiration, clarity, support. A good husband is someone who constantly and continuously thinks of the other person, not of ‘me.’
You see, we often think that we love people the way they are and we call that “unconditional love.” The truth is, most people don’t love other people. What they love is their version of them. I have my version of you and that is what I love. Do I love my child? Not really, but I love my version of my child, and the moment it’s not my version, meaning once it’s not predictable, then it’s not comfortable. So a husband may say, “I love you,” but in reality he only loves the version of what he sees in the spouse, and when she does not fit into that space or that fashion of the version that he wants, then he ceases to be a good husband. Sometimes, you’re married to a wife and she shows you the way to be. She shows you the things to do and they may be uncomfortable but what you hate most is typically what you need most because this will change you and help you become the person that you are capable of becoming. Your wife typically sees that in you. If you are capable of becoming better but yet you stop becoming, someone reminds you of that, and if you thought about it, if you stop kicking and screaming, and stop being the victim, then you can change and become better. This is the version of a good husband.
Now of course, this is what I think and there may be others out there who think differently, but the most important part of being a good husband, you can make that a good son, a daughter, a good friend, or a good spouse – a wife to her husband, or a good friend, a colleague, is to find the best in another and help them see themselves greater than they are. It’s the ability to make others feel better, greater, safer. It’s the ability to, when they are with you, to always feel secure and in good company. That is a good person, be it a husband, father, son, friend, or a colleague, it’s pretty much the same. Be a good person and make others feel greater about themselves and let them see themselves greater than they are. By lifting them, you will rise and so will they, and this is goodness at its ultimate level.
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